It is so good to be at the top of the food chain. I know, there are grizzly bears out there who would have us for lunch, but generally, we rule, I think.
But our supremacy causes some nutty behaviors. I am thinking specifically of our advertising.
“I have this recurring dream…”
Let’s say we are promoting internet grocery shopping. Concept: a plump, naked guy scampering across the road, jogging down the sidewalk to the store.
Nope. Too edgy for the after-school viewing. Let’s get a plump, naked chicken. Oh yeah, take his head off, too. That’s okay to show during the six o’clock news hour.
“This is the BEST picnic ever!”
Or perhaps we are promoting an antacid to settle our stomach. Concept: a plump, naked, slow-roasted, headless man, playing doubles volleyball in the backyard.
Nope. That’s a message endorsing tanning. Surgeon General won’t like it. Let’s go chicken instead. “Hey Marsha, see if you can get Roddy from the internet shopping commercial to audition…”
And logic-defying creative like this: there’s a buffalo farm near us advertising its meat products. And who’s making the pitch on the billboard? A proud cartoon buffalo beaming down on us as we drive by, gazing at the bison in the pasture.
Chicken chef: fowl treachery!
Been to a BBQ restaurant lately? Notice the smiling pigs and cows on the napkins? How about lovable Mrs. Leghorn offering up her fresh-laid children for breakfast? No wonder PETA gets antsy.
It’s not all twisted though.
I point to our favorite duck -sorry, not you Donald– no, not you Daffy– but the celebrated pitchman who has won our hearts and minds for supplemental insurance coverage. He shows how hard work, and a friend in the advertising business can get you somewhere.
“I took voice modulation too.”
Could it be that this fellow started in insurance as an actuary? And somebody in marketing called him up to the seventh floor for a talk?
“I was an extra on the Muppets. But I was going nowhere.”
And there’s the British import gecko. May have been a driving instructor for the U.N. Consular Service until he realized his job had no meaning. Went for a casting call for a pest control ad and ended up selling auto insurance. They loved his accent.
Their futures are secure. Unless the Food Network takes a shine to them. Or Comedy Central.
Next thing you know– Concept: A duck, gecko and a rooster walk into a bar…
There’s a good punch line for this set up. I hope you can supply it! Thanks for reading, and please “like” or “share” below. Thanks!
Phil Brown 